Bart Simpson's Guide to Life: A Wee Handbook for the by Matt Groening

By Matt Groening

From AV Club:

"The controversy surrounding Bart Simpson whilst The Simpsons debuted as a series—won’t a person safeguard the kids from the scourge of “Underachiever And happy with It” shirts?!—seems old fashioned twenty years later. however it is helping clarify Bart Simpson’s advisor To lifestyles, a manufactured from the early Simpsons age while lots of the consciousness occupied with the 10-year-old rapscallion. within the ebook, Bart deals counsel on every little thing from foodstuff to oldsters to intercourse and faith. even though many people wrote the booklet, Matt Groening is the one one credited, and its dense structure remembers Groening’s existence In Hell sequence. simply because characters have constructed and the show’s voice has replaced, Bart’s consultant To existence is understandably a piece dated 17 years later (see the connection with Simpsons bootleg shirts), yet like many of the books in this record, it’s a memento from a special pop-cultural age."

From Amazon:

"Starved for the total fact, man?

Take a chew out of this bitsy yet beefy package deal, brimming with morsels of wit, knowledge and worldly wisdom delivered to you by way of the only and in basic terms Bartholomew J. Simpson. Get the hard–knocks evidence of existence from the man who's noticeable all of it, heard all of it, performed all of it and denies it all.

(The "J" stands for "Jo–Jo"...)"

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Extra resources for Bart Simpson's Guide to Life: A Wee Handbook for the Perplexed

Sample text

You call at the designated time and keep hitting the redial button hoping to be one of the lucky winners. If it’s a popular club, keep a sandwich nearby because it might be a long process. If you get through, go out and buy a lottery ticket because it’s your lucky day. Then again, if it’s your phone that’s ringing off the hook at the designated hour . . Well, hang onto that thought also. The comedy lottery can also be a long shot, but it’s actually a very fair method of choosing who gets the coveted open mike and audition spots in the more popular clubs.

When signing a contract for a single show, you can use your stage name. This is quite common in the industry and should be considered binding for one reason: The person paying you holds all the purse strings. If you default on the show, you won’t get paid. There’s also a better chance of a lawyer waving his fees than of you ever getting another booking by that person, which is not only a waste of the time and effort you put into it, but also not a smart way to maintain a career. Even if you change your name in an attempt to get a second chance, the possibility always exists that you’ll be recognized by your photo or (here we go again) attitude.

When it comes to advertising, use your imagination and have fun—as you continue to work hard. When you get an audience, the best promotion is to give them a great show. Good word-of-mouth could result in a regular clientele, a happy club owner and an experienced comic—you! Jackie “The Joke Man” Martling I was in a three-piece band called The Off-Hour Rockers. We told dirty jokes and played our own songs. We were very wild and funny, but there was no place for us to go. ” Now, I’m no rocket scientist, but if there’s three guys in the band and two of them leave, that’s kicking me out of the band!

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