A child's garden of grammar by Tom Disch

By Tom Disch

Gentle verse and kooky illustrations make grammar their playground

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Example text

I tip my hat to all of you. You've set a fine example to me But I don't get it, and I'm gloomy. Page 40 Page 41 The Object of the Preposition I thought of you and straightway you became The object of the preposition of. I thought of her, and it was just the same But when I thought of you and me, my love, The two of us together, I forgot Every other pronoun I'd been taught, Page 42 Strange Plurals Page 43 Page 44 Page 45 Odious Comparisons I have been good, but you've been better; The proof is on your letter sweater.

Page 18 Page 19 Someday I will know what to do, And then I'll surely act Till which time I'll sit and stew, A model of poise and tact. Page 20 Either and or Came to a Door. Page 21 Either/Or Either and Or came to a door. Either would enter, but not before Or, So still they stand outside that door, But now their names are Neither and Nor. Page 22 A Wagging Tail Will Earn a Pat. Page 23 If/Then If/Then is a wonderful machine. If you use soap, then you'll be clean. If you do this, I'll give you that.

To speak politely or To flout the rule that cannot be Broken with impunity. Grammar's first law and holy writ: Infinitives must not be split, And never ask the reason why. You may be thinking what if I Were on a plane about to crash. Surely it would not be rash To try to safely parachute.  The Institute Of Proper Speech gives not a hoot Whether you perish or you live And won't allow a split infinitive. Page 62 Page 63 Quotation Marks I said "I'm sorry: what'd you say? " take off your Walkman and listen to me?

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